So yupp. I'm going to register for the next semester soon. Which hopefully to be in the same class with my friends. I always get anxious about this whole thing like getting know someone new or going through the phase like "Hey, my name is aqila". Nope, not me. I just hate new people. I mean not hate as in hate. You get what I mean? It's like hate that the whole phase where you have to handle new people, or what kind of person she/he is. They can be some kind of two faces or what ever they are. I used to be okay with having lots of friends in high school. Like I know the whole school and even those people from other schools, hanging out together after school or weekends. But yah as usual, we just can't trust anyone. Even the closest one can change to be someone totally different from what you thought they were. So I'm okay, and totally fine with those friends I have. I really mean it. Yes, I'm welcoming new friends, but it's going to take some time to be who I really am around new people. Even now I'm not really being myself around my friends. I tend to build walls between me and others just to make sure I'll never have to go through what ever I've been through before. It's just me, not that I think I'm way to good to be friends with anyone, it's me. The not really confident me.
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
It's 1.55 am. Just got back from subang parade. Watched lucy, it's quite okay, not a good movie as in not as good as it seemed to be in the trailer. So yah. Whatevs.
You know that feeling of the love have been magnified. Which you suddenly become more not willing to lose anyone in your life and you start to being over sensitive. Every text, phone calls, conversations have become more meaningful, plus you keep on asking yourself "what would do without her/him". Yes, I'm in this very particular state. I used to be the sensitive person since I was a little kid. I cried every night with the thought of losing my parents one day. And not that I'm being heartless now, it just that I'm occupying myself with whatever thing is. We all do to deny our feelings. We tend to forget those things that scare us or hunt us and pretend to be the strongest person. But we all know that it just a matter of time till we fall. The thought of losing anyone in my life even those people I barely know, it's sad how short life is. How easy to lose anyone. I even late few minutes the moment my grandfather passed away and I regret every seconds I wasted. Just don't. We plan for the future, but we'll never know what future holds for us.
Saturday, August 23, 2014
Okay, I'm soooo tired. Went for an open house this afternoon. And now just got back from a dinner at Publika. Oh ohh highlight of the day, Zafri finally introduced me to his friends or vice versa. And thank you to Zafri's friend for the dinner treat *Haha whatever even tak baca pun* and congratulation for you guys engagement. Hehe. Ohh yes, his friends are much older from me of course and Zafri himself because these guys aren't those from high school or uitm, semua dah kerja so that's why I called them kawan kawan tua. Hahaha. So I was like the youngest person among them all. Yes, awkward like super duper awkward. But everything was okay I guess. Hahahaha hell no, as always, I'm being me, the horrible person on earth when it comes to this sesi suai kenal. But yes, siapa tak malu gila jumpa like 12 people at once? You tell me? Hahaha. It's more to like getting approval from his friends for being his girlfriend *even almost after 5 years*. Yes.
Still regret about everything. Haih
Wednesday, August 20, 2014
So I've been thinking on taking out all the clothes that I own, and reorganise my stuffs. I've been wearing the same outfit like I don't know since semester 1 of my diploma I guess. So before I go for my-degree-outfit-shopping, i guess this is what I should do. All the dresses, jeans, high waisted, cardigan, shirts, shoes, bags etc need to be mix and match again so that they all look just like new stuff. I really need to stop repeating wearing the same outfit in the same week. I'll be staying at home so running out of clothes is not really an excuse. The worst thing that, I own few clothes that I dont really confident to put them on. Like the flat high cut boots. It makes my feet look even larger. And I'm the type of person that not willing to let go of my things even I don't use them for years. I'll find a place to keep my stuff so that I dont have to throw or sell them away. And my sister being the kindest person ever as usual, will always be the person who like to throw away my stuff. Such as my dresses, tops, and my jumpsuit which was given by my mother! So upsetting. Blugh. So yah, wish me luck.
Monday, August 18, 2014
Friends know that I don't even care what others do as long as they don't mess with me. And as long as you keep your distance and don't you ever dare to cross the line. I have my limits. Don't go around telling shits about me. Stop victimizing yourself. You were the one who came into my life without being invited. And yes, i treated you as you deserved to be treated. Don't blame me. I never know your existence until you came. Do I look like i care that you're alive? Not at all. Until you destroyed everything I've built. Now I want you out of the picture. Pretty please.
Ugh why do I have to tell you all these?! Common sense la weh.
Saturday, August 16, 2014
Fuhh what a long day. Spent almost the whole day somewhere in Subang Jaya for cousin's wedding and thankfully everything went smoothly. She's now officially married, yeay! Congratulation, both of you!
So BPL is back. Am not a fan of football, so not gonna update about those stuffs. Thank god, zafri isn't into football, so i dont have to hear he talks about football or whatever any other guys do about football. Like for years, i never experienced those thingy where the girls complained about how they being ignored. So nope, I'm so happy then.
And thats it. I'm having massive headache. Gonna hit the bed like pretty soon.
Tuesday, August 12, 2014
Yupp, the results had been announced today. And thankfully, i was given a chance to further my study. Yeay! And congratulations everyone! Those who might not have the chance, dont give up. Something better might be waiting for you in the future. Everthing happens for a reason, remember? Allah knows what is the best for you.
Good luck everyone!
Monday, August 11, 2014
So hows your eid so far? Mine was pretty good. I was actually invited more to wedding event compared to open houses. Ramai kahwin eh tahun ni. Hehe. Nothing much to be enlightened. Few friends came to my house and yes my close friend from primary school came too! After like 9 years! Aahh such a long time! She's getting prettier and maintain slim gitu. Malu I tau tengok dia. Hehe. So i was like sooo unprepared, and zafri was like "orang tak pernah datang rumah, kelam kabut ha". And guess what, he sat at the corner and do nothing -_- thanks to little sister for helping me out. Dia lagi tau nak served all the foods. Hikhik. And thank you for coming guys! It was such a pleasure! Till we meet again, insyaAllah :)
I think we should all take a class which teach us how to handle few types of people. First those with its-all-about-me attitude. Second, I'm-the-best and thirdly, I'm-always-right. Oh not to forget, 'kuat perasan' type of people. Orang tweet je acah-acah pasal dia, orang post blog pun kata cakap pasal dia. Whatevs people. Whatevs. Do i really like i care? Nope. Get a life. Stop stalking me. Sampai terfavourite bagai. Puhleaseee. Should have prepared myself before doing all this stuffs called living my own life. Hehh
Thursday, August 7, 2014
Everyone has their own dreams. Some people might wanna spend the rest of their life doing nothing, partying or anything. I always imagining myself travelling the world on my own. It must be so fascinating. You can enjoy every parts of nature. You can go wherever you want and do whatever you want. Most of people may focus on the shopping part or go to any fancy places. I don't prefer about going to somewhere like new york kind of place. I'd love to go to somewhere more green. Maybe places like west virginia, or the japanese gardens in san francisco, switzerland or france. Or maybe italy. And of course, my other dream is being rich. Lol. How am I gonna visit these places without having damn lots of money. And yes, lets work hard to achieve our dreams, my dreams or whatever you dreams are.
Wednesday, August 6, 2014
Oh hello everyone
Like I said before, i owned two blogs before but decided to delete both of the blogs. I used to post my kind of personal stuffs and one of the reason to delete both blogs because I saw this post of mine which had been copied and pasted to other social network. So from that moment, i dont really post my personal stuffs as in cintan cintun post or whatever they called as 'a samad said stuffs'. So whatever thing that I wrote or write in the future its not gonna be based on my personal stuffs or life or whatever. Most of it may come from other people lives or experience *friends etc* or movies or series episodes. Kalau yang ala ala dear diary based on daily life tu ada la but not gonna tell in detail whats going on in my life. Just to be clear. Because i just realized that since my blog is open to public, so there's lots of people that going to be judgemental or busybody or whatever after read whatever things I've wrote. So I've decided to not expose my life to everyone since not everyone that do care and most of them are just curious. So no, dont judge my life based on my blog. Because i might be writing someone else's story on my blog without mentioning the real person. Of course, duhh.
Tuesday, August 5, 2014
Omg yes finally after the end of diploma, I'm here writing about my previous uni. Yupp, guess why and what makes me to? I was scrolling few pictures on instagram and there's a friend of mine posted the picture of UiTMPP. So I was like okay, and yah okay. Hahaha
Its not the place that I miss. Its the memories created there. How horror my life was since the first semester and how lucky I am to be placed in the same place as zafri. And I'm so thankful for having him there since i don't really have to find my own class etc. He did every single thing to 'take care' of me since my parents suruh dia before start diploma lagii. He did a good job. Hehe tak sangat pun sebenarnya. Hahaha.
And those awesome people I met and yah I'm a kind of person that not good in making friends. I aint talkative, i dont even know how to start a conversation, i dont know how to socialize with other people. But these people, are the greatest. Thank you for every single thing. Like seriously.
I still remember how i cried every single night during the orientation week and i called my parents, friends and zafri like every single minute during that week eventhough those 'kakak kakak pm' keep on "letak phone tu dikk". I was like kesah apa aku, lari sekali sambil on the phone. Sampai free call aku 40 hours habis, zafri punya 40 hours pun habis, free sms pun habis, internet pun habis quota. Every morning masa lepas subuh, aku menangis je kerja nya. My parents keep on saying "seminggu jeee. Sabar sikit. Nanti zafri datang dah, okay la" And thank god few friends from highschool were in the same uni, and i dont really make friends pun the whole week, so berkepit dengan my old friends even we're not in the same course so some of the activities were seperated for each courses. And yess I survived! Hehe.
Yes, being apart with family wasn't really a good thing but the experience, haha i dont know the right word to explain it but yah good. Only god knows how hard it is masa tu tak ada duit and zafri and i was like makan kat foodcourt every single day and lauk yang sama. Jimat macam macam. Sampai makcik foodcourt dah kenal siap bagi makanan free. Tak, bukan sebab kitorang takde duit nak bayar, sebab dia nak habiskan lauk dia. Tapi bila ada duit sikit tak ingat dunia. Since dia drive pergi penang, panjang lagi kaki aku berjalan. Hari hari makan luar, siap breakfast lagi lunch dinner bagai. Lepas class je keluar. Tak pandang food court pun. Hahaha. Movie jangan cakap la, sampai habis semua cerita dah tengok. We had to wait for another week for new movies. Teruk betul. Balik tu takyah cakap lah. Almost every week balik.
But after he finished his diploma, aku jadi orang bosan gila duduk bilik. Sebab dah biasa keluar every single day, roomates housemates memang tak nampak aku kat bilik. Bila zafri takde, aku golek sana, golek sini. Hahaha. Tapi, berjaya jugak balik sorang sorang, naik cab naik prebet, boleh berdikari okay. Hahaha. But at first tu awkward gila beli nasi bungkus, sebab biasa tak makan bungkus, lepas tu makan kat bilik lagi la rasa pelik, lepas tu makan nasi foodcourt everyday. Tak ada breakfast sebab most of my lovely friends tak bangun awal. Hahaha. So aku belajar sekali tak breakfast tapi lunch before tengah hari. Hahaha. Every week je hilang terus balik. Tak every week sangat la, kalau ada test ke apa, tak balik la. Tapi the point of the story that i can stand on my own. Eheh not really. My friends helped like a lot. Seriously. No kidding.
Thanks for reading!
Sunday, August 3, 2014
Maybe for some of you, relationship might not be a big deal. But for me, yes it is. Because you dont know what they have gone through to be where they are and what they've lost along the way to keep whatever they have between them. Its not fair how some people come in between the two of them and destroy every single thing which they've built within years. And yes, things happen for a reason, i know but still we cant put the blame on one side. "bertepuk sebelah tangan tak berbunyi" kan?
And to whoever you are, its so wrong to treat someone like they dont matter at all after years together. After all the shizz you put your partner through. And I'm sorry, no matter what, I'll not be on the side of outsiders. Its your fault to put high hopes on those people in relationships. And dont put the blame on others just because he/she ignores you after awhile chitchatting.
And its not that all, i found it very unacceptable for someone to judge those people like "geli amat" or whatever it is. Like whatever. Okay? Let them be, they dont even know you for you to judge their lovey dovey relationship. Nak renew relationship every year ke apa ke like its up to them. Dont screen snap their picture and post it online with whatever your stupid caption is. And not all but some of these people are in relationship. So why dont you make your own relationship a big deal? And while the others who actually post "why am i single?", the answer is in your head. Eheh.